See Vol. II, Iss. V, Letter to Toothbrush Thief

Fellow students,

As the title implies, I would like you to know Jeremy, I did not steal your toothbrush. Now that that's out of the way, as an unrelated question, does anyone know if the nurse keeps spare toothbrushes? Or if there's some way to buy them? I have four dollars. Also unrelated question, just out of curiosity, how dirty was the oven? Again, these questions are completely unrelated and I'd like to stress that I did NOT steal Jeremy's toothbrush, nor do I have any reason to be concerned about the toothbrush's previous usage, I'd simply like to purchase a toothbrush. Did you know that you're supposed to change out your toothbrush every three months? Well, it has been three months, and I just happen to need a new toothbrush right when Jeremy's goes missing. It's more likely than you think. I also quite like ovens. Thank you for cleaning the oven Jeremy.

— Timothy Green (IRL: Brianna Richins)